Arsenicum-The Mr. Right

Dr. P.Singh: Hi Mati!; What have you to tell us about this epitome of Righteousness, Mr. Arsenicum? The core feeling of Arsenicum is that he is Right and you are not. Is this because they are very proud and callous or is it because they are insecure?

Dr.Mati: Hi, To answer this question (or any question) about an Arsenicum trait, we have to go back to the original story to find the answer. In the original story, Arsenicum was betrayed by someone he trusted, and as a result, he lost his wealth, his position, his wife and almost his life. From this experience, Arsenicum realized many things. He realized that he can't really trust anyone, not even his closest friends, and that the people, whom he thought loved him, may not love him so much after all. The thing that hurt him the most, was the fact that nobody listened to him, nobody cared to hear what he had to say. If only they had listened, perhaps the betrayal would have never happened. So, down the generations, Arsenicums became experts at arguing. Therefore, an Arsenicum can basically argue circles around anyone. They often use anything that is said by their opponent as an argument against them. The more the other person argues, the more he gets himself into trouble, until Arsenicum completely destroys his arguments and often leaves him in tears, or at least in confusion.

Here, we can see that Arsenicum's desire to always be right, and to always win any argument, is simply a compensation for what happened in the original situation. He can only be sure, that something similar will never happen again, by convincing others that his point of view is right so there is no reason for them to conspire against him again. And, if someone doesn't feel convinced, they immediately become "the enemy," and Arsenicum will callously treat them accordingly. In this way, Arsenicum has some similarity to Nitric Acid - "Either you are with me, or you are not, and I need to know which side you are on!" This is why Arsenicum always has to be right. Being right puts his mind at ease. If he can convince you to agree with him, he will think you are on his side, and once he is convinced of this, he will start trusting you and feel a bit more relaxed, but he never trusts anyone totally because he knows that people are unpredictable, and that things can all of a sudden change again. Therefore, Arsenicum is never really at ease around anyone else, even the people who are closest to him.

So, is Arsenicum proud and callous? Yes, he is. He may have lost his position in the original situation, but if he has compensated in this lifetime by creating lots of wealth and a prominent position for himself, he will be extremely proud of his own efforts, especially if he built his company from scratch, and he is often callous towards anyone who doesn't agree with him, or who doesn't have as much money as he has, or who hasn't achieved the same social position. (He is the kind of person who will state that if people are poor, it is their own fault!) Therefore he is often extremely critical towards others. Since Arsenicum's trust was destroyed in the original story, he is now compensating by being overly suspicious towards anyone in his life, always looking for faults, and never totally trusting anyone. This makes him very insecure.

There is often a sense in Arsenicum that he has offended someone, and that he is not very well liked (which is often the truth, too!). He knows perfectly well that he doesn't always treat people very nicely, and therefore, he feels unloved, and there is a deep fear in him that the people in his life will abandon him some day. (This is one clue to distinguishing between Phosphorus and Arsenicum - Arsenicum has less friends than Phosphorus and is much more concerned about whether people like him, or not). So, Arsenicum is basically proud, callous and insecure, and this is not a contradiction! Arsenicum simply uses his pride and callous behavior to cover up his insecurity and vulnerability. He loves to intimidate others in an effort to make them feel so insecure that they won't try to intimidate him back, because only when he has "the upper hand," does he feel safe.

Dr. P.Singh: So, why does Arsenicums care more for their belongings than for their families?

Dr.Mati: Again, it is a way of avoiding their inner feeling of insecurity and vulnerablity. They can't make anyone love them, but they can create wealth in their lives. Although they are afraid to be alone, they are even more afraid of poverty. To Arsenicum, money has become a substitute for love, since it is a lot easier to control money, than to make anyone love them. Money makes them feel safe, and invincible. Money makes them feel like nothing bad can ever happen to them, since they can always pay someone to take care of things should anything go wrong. Arsenicum's whole mission in life has to do with finding ways to make himself feel safe. This is basically where his focus always is; it is always on what HE needs, and therefore, he often doesn't pay too much attention to anyone else's needs, especially when it comes to other people's emotional needs. Emotions are simply too unpredictable and Arsenicum can't really be bothered with too much emotional expression, especially when it comes from his mate. That just isn't where he puts his energy. If he creates enough wealth in his life, he expects his wife to be happy with that, because to Arsenicum, money has become the love of his life (his wife will always come second). So, he shows his love by sharing his money with the people that he appreciates. If his wife has a different idea of what love is, there will be trouble, of course. She will become demanding, and Arsenicum will become mean. (This is why Natrum Muriaticum is often attracted to Arsenicum - she will find ample opportunity to learn to love herself in this relationship, since Arsenicum is much too self absorbed to be emotionally available to her.)

Dr. P.Singh: I once came along an Arsenicum who cared more for his belongings and assets instead of his family. Are they miser like Lyco or indifferent like Sepia.

Dr.Mati: Yes, he is a miser because without money, he has no security, but it is still not like Lycopodium. Lycopodium believes that he will only be loved if he achieves his goals, and once his goals are achieved, he spends the rest of his life securing his position as well as his achievements. If he has achieved a great big bank balance, he doesn't want to squander it away, because without it, he will feel like a looser. So, even though both are misers, they both have different reasons for being misers. Therefore, we can't say that Arsenicum is a miser, like Lycopodium, even though they are both misers. Unless we understand where they are both coming from, and what lies behind their miserliness, we can't easily differentiate one from the other.

So, Arsenicum is not indifferent, like Sepia. Sepia is so exhausted that she just wants to be left alone. Arsenicum does want people in his life, since he hates being alone, but it always has to be on his terms since he doesn't have the same need for emotional security as his wife may have. Physical security is always much more important to him, simply because it is more predictable and reliable than love is. 

Dr. P.Singh: It means that a clear understanding of the core issues is vital for recognizing a Arsenicum, Natrum, Ignatia or Sepia.

Dr.Mati: Yes, off course, without grasping the core of a medicine we will end up with a wrong prescription. Take abandonment issues, for example. Many people have abandonment issues, but we still have to look for ways to differentiate, or we'll end up giving Nat Mur to everyone. Arsenicum has abandonment issues because they are too controlling of others and often treat the people in their lives so badly that they end up alone eventually, and when they do, they feel extremely sorry for themselves. Nat Mur has abandonment issues because they always pick men who aren't really that interested in commitment, or who are emotionally cold because they are more interested in their work. So, Nat Mur tends to end up either disappointed or abandoned. Ignatia have abandonment issues because they don't show any discernment when picking a partner. They live in their emotions too much, and when they pick an unsuitable partner and things don't work out, they suffer from their "bad luck." Carcinosin has abandonment issue because she believes that people will love her if she takes care of them, but all her mothering and smothering can often be too much for her partner, and he'll leave, in spite of everything she has done for him.

Dr. P.Singh: This means there are far more Arsenicums around us than we know.

Dr.Mati: My feeling is that there are lots and lots of Arsenicums out there, who are often given other remedies, like Nux Vomica or even Natrum Muriaticum, when they should have been given Arsenicum. They are often stressed out business men, who love a good argument just as much as a Nux, or they may have abandonment issues, like a Natrum Muriaticum.

Dr. P.Singh: So, how can we differentiate between remedies, when often there are so many overlapping symptoms?

Dr.Mati: Before I wrote this book (Beyond the Veil of Delusions), I often asked myself the same question, and this became one of the things that inspired me to study the core issues of the remedies in more detail. What I found was that symptoms may overlap, but core issues don't. If you know the three core stories of Nux (ready to conquer anything), Natrum (dreaming about eternal happiness with Mr. Right) and Arsenicum (having been betrayed by someone he trusted), your client just has to tell you his story, and you will instantly see whether he needs one of these remedies because the core stories don't overlap! This is why I think it is important to know the core story because it helps you see the bigger picture, and it also helps you determine what is most important in a case with more accuracy. But it is not only the story itself that is important; we also need to understand what effect the original story had on someone's life. So, a core story is basically a combination of what happened in the original situation, plus how this changed the person's perception of reality, and also how it changed his actions in such a way that it is still affecting him here and now. How did he compensate for what happened, and how is he trying to ensure that nothing similar will ever happen again? Putting these pieces of information together makes it easier to choose a suitable remedy for someone.

Dr. P.Singh: Thanks, Mati for this discussion on Core Issues and Arsenicum. I hope our readers would enjoy it.